i dont know what to say to you
that would bring comfort.
there is so much pain, and simply no way of showing it.
hurting myself in the many forms i do is not helping.
but what can? ....
also, wondering if someone out there can invent a plug for these tears.
im sick of drowning in them every night.
i feel like the bible, when david complains about his tear drenched sheets....
((but God : wheres my rescue?))
shelter me from this, guess thats not happening.
people. leave.
people. fail.
people. hurt.
people. "care".
why do mine get taken away...?
something taps into this deep reservoir of pain, and for an instant, everything is so simple.
stop breathing.
but i know that wont help. or at least wont help the greatest number of people.
i cant do it. cant pull the trigger. not like id use a gun... but i hate hurting others.
but would they care?
dear hole inside my heart, we need better stitches, stronger band-aids, a more believable cure.
dear emptiness out there, please give me a break. i can only tread water for so long.....
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